I never employed a yaya for my kids when they were growing up. I actually stopped working to make sure that I (or my hubby) gave our babies their baths, washed the poops off their butts, and watched over them as they slept. It was I, though, who had a yaya for myself , but I changed maids like I changed clothes. Oh the horror stories with the help I got! So as I would go to my weekly novena in Baclaran church, I started praying for a maid who will be good for my family. Remember that once you employ a close-in maid/nanny or yaya in Filipino, she becomes a part of your life.
I had a yaya who eventually became my daughter’s nanny when I went back to work 3 years ago. Yaya Rina is still far from being the perfect help (as in waaaay far! haha!), but I let her shortcomings "slide" (although I still tell her how to improve), because I think the most important qualification for making someone stay, is that she loves your family. I saw how she cares for my kids, and in return, she receives our whole family’s love and protection, like she is not just part of our lives, but also part of our family.
I had a yaya who eventually became my daughter’s nanny when I went back to work 3 years ago. Yaya Rina is still far from being the perfect help (as in waaaay far! haha!), but I let her shortcomings "slide" (although I still tell her how to improve), because I think the most important qualification for making someone stay, is that she loves your family. I saw how she cares for my kids, and in return, she receives our whole family’s love and protection, like she is not just part of our lives, but also part of our family.
Here are some basic tips on how to have a good relationship with your help.
1. The moment she arrives, orient her with her specific duties and responsibilities. Explain to her that things are done differently by different people, so she should know how you prefer to have things done. For instance, I require my cook to use mineral water and not just tap, for the soups and other dishes she prepares (I'm admittedly O.C. when it comes to my food).
2. Give her a “work” time table of her schedule. If you have 2 or more maids, it will help if you give them their specific work assignments too. This would prevent finger pointing and lack of accountability if some jobs are not done. Maids usually fight over whose job is whose, or if one maid passes on work to another, so identifying their assignments would certainly prevent squabbles.
3. Lay out the rules for your household staff. If they do something wrong, be firm and try to give them constructive criticisms so they can improve. Also, DO NOT get trapped into giving in just because "it's hard nowadays to find a maid". You should stick with your rules, and if she is giving you more grief than help, maybe it is time to find someone who will be a better fit for your family.
4. Supervise your maid during the first weeks, so you can guide her until she gets a grip of a routine. I always tell my maids not to be embarrassed to come to me if they don't know something.
5. Establish mutual respect. I have always been a firm believer that household help deserve as much respect as their employers.
6. Make sure their tummies are happy! Do not forget that a happy tummy would give you higher probabilities of a happy worker, hence, a happier you. I actually do not have a separate menu for my household staff. Whatever my cook prepares for my family and I is what I share with them. Growing up, I saw how my grandparents to my parents would be so generous with food (among other things) with our household help, that even now, my own helpers benefit from this generosity. Sometimes, they even exceed my own generosity towards my staff (and I already take care of them very well to begin with). You know what my parents would always say? "They take care of our most precious granddaughters, and it's a small way of saying thank you." Besides, how can you work on an empty stomach, right?
3. Lay out the rules for your household staff. If they do something wrong, be firm and try to give them constructive criticisms so they can improve. Also, DO NOT get trapped into giving in just because "it's hard nowadays to find a maid". You should stick with your rules, and if she is giving you more grief than help, maybe it is time to find someone who will be a better fit for your family.
4. Supervise your maid during the first weeks, so you can guide her until she gets a grip of a routine. I always tell my maids not to be embarrassed to come to me if they don't know something.
5. Establish mutual respect. I have always been a firm believer that household help deserve as much respect as their employers.
6. Make sure their tummies are happy! Do not forget that a happy tummy would give you higher probabilities of a happy worker, hence, a happier you. I actually do not have a separate menu for my household staff. Whatever my cook prepares for my family and I is what I share with them. Growing up, I saw how my grandparents to my parents would be so generous with food (among other things) with our household help, that even now, my own helpers benefit from this generosity. Sometimes, they even exceed my own generosity towards my staff (and I already take care of them very well to begin with). You know what my parents would always say? "They take care of our most precious granddaughters, and it's a small way of saying thank you." Besides, how can you work on an empty stomach, right?
7. Not only have my parents inculcated in me generosity, but kindness & thoughtfulness towards everyone whatever his/her station in life is, as well. Dad and Mom would have birthday and Christmas gifts for my maids. If this is beyond your means, however, a simple yet sincere greeting on Yaya's birthday would surely be more than appreciated. Remember: our helpers are at their most vulnerable when it's the holidays or their birthdays, given that they are away from their own families. Homesickness usually sets in. A few words of comfort would go a long way :)
8. I encourage my Catholic maids to hear mass on Sundays. We also support, and needless to say , excuse from work our Iglesia ni Cristo driver if he need to attend their church's services in the mornings or evenings. Everyone needs the Word of God. (Hopefully also, para bumait yung mga pasaway! LOL!)
9. Give incentives for jobs well done, like something extra for their toiletries, or old (but still decent) clothes that’s already gathering dust in your closets. Recently, we renovated some rooms in the house with boxes of unused toys, clothes, appliances and furniture.. And instead of doing a garage sale like we 1st planned on doing, since they really helped with the renovations by cleaning up, or assisting the the workers, we eventually decided to give 1st dibs to our household staff to send to their families in the provinces. (What's left were given to charities).
10. Lastly, trust your instincts. You can follow all the rules by the book, but more often than not, s*%t happens. And since I always challenged myself to see the best in people in spite of my guts telling me otherwise, s%*t did usually happen! With age, I can only hope to get better.
Do you have other tips in building relationships with the help? Please do share as we need all the help we can have. :)
Love,
Rikki Mathay
Do you have other tips in building relationships with the help? Please do share as we need all the help we can have. :)
Love,
Rikki Mathay